Monday, March 10, 2008

Bible Blunders

What follows are biblical bloopers Sunday School students studying in their
religious classes

In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, The Lord got tired of
creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.

Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.

Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of
fire by night.

The Jews were a proud people and throughout history
they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.

Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by
a jezebel like Delilah.

Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened
bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.

Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.

The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then, Joshua
led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his
son to stand still and he obeyed him

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.

He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who
lived in the biblical times.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, has 300 wives and
700 porcupines.

When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived,
they found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption.

St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one
to others before they do one to you. He also explained,

“Man doth not live by sweat alone.”

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed
to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a

When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus,
she sang the Magna Carta.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
which is another name for marriage.

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