Friday, September 25, 2009

Buying Deodorant

A [not too intelligent] lady walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. 

Unfazed, the lady assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. “I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”

“But I always get it here,” says the lady.

“Do you have the container it comes in?”

“Yes!” says the lady, “I will go and get it.”

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.”

The annoyed women snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: “To apply, remove cap and push up bottom.”

Now, I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome

Saturday, September 12, 2009

All Dogs go to heaven

Do Dogs go to Heaven? Hysterical! These two churches face each other across a busy street.

Well they don't really face each other, it's a hoax but funny just the same!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

8 months pregnant

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition.

She sat under a sweets sign that said, “The Double Mint Twins are coming!” and I smiled.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, “Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling”, and I had to grin.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the Trick”, and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident”… I just lost it.”

The judge slams his gavel down case dismissed