Resume Mistakes to avoid

Below are some examples of mistakes you don't want to make on your resume...

- "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my 
ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable." 

- "Education:  Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, 
curses in accounting."

- "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain 
store." 

- "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet." 

- "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 

- "I am a rabid typist."

- "Created a new market for pigs by processing, advertising and
selling a gourmet pig mail order service on the side."

- "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not
appropriate for business."

- "Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

- "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."

- "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely nothing 
and absolutely no one."

- "References: None, I've left a path of destruction behind me."

- "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

- "Don't take the comments of my former employer too seriously, they 
were unappreciative beggars and slave drivers." 

- "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training 
in meteroology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage." 

- "I procrastinate-especially when the task is unpleasant."

- "I am loyal to my employer at all costs ..Please feel free to 
resond to my resume on my office voicemanil." 

- "Qualifications: No education or experience." 

- "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." 

- "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." 

- "Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on my head!"

- Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from 
you shorty!"