Monday, August 15, 2011

Human Intelligence

1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person:  "A little.  What's wrong?"

1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page.  I tried it again, and the same thing happened."

2nd Person: How did you load the sheet?"

1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it."

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked.  She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker-now I can't get into my car. Do you think they [pointing to a distant convenience store] would have a battery for this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.  "No, just this remote thingy,'" she answered, handing it and the car keys to me.  As I took the key
and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries - it's a long walk."

My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.  As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'mnot stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"

Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.   What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," she told him.  With that,
the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed  into the garage.  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had happened.  He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went back t make a sandwich.

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.  The person who answered
 said, "Bob is on vacation.  Would you like to hold?"

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