Sunday, December 18, 2011

Money

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Value for your money

Bill Clinton was taking a late evening jog when he spotted a very attractive young lady standing on a street corner. Seizing the opportunity he goes up to her and starts a conversation. It doesn't take long for him to find out that she is a prostitute.

"Well," says Bill, "How much do you charge?"

"One hundred and fifty dollars." she answers.

"One hundred and fifty dollars!"  Bill exclaims.

"Yes, one hundred and fifty dollars." she says.

"I can't believe you charge one hundred and fifty dollars."  He says.

"Well, how much do you think it should cost?"  she asks.

"About ten dollars."  Bill flatly states.

"TEN DOLLARS!"  she cries, "Sorry, it's one hundred and fifty dollars."

Bill shakes his head and continues his jog.

A few days later, he is out jogging late in the evening again, but this time Hillary decides to join him.  Bill sees that the same prostitute is standing on the street corner again and decides to steer Hillary away from her, so they jog on the opposite side of the street.  The prostitute however happens to see them running and yells:

"Hey, see what you get for ten dollars!!"